My life was full of miseries and sorrows. Such circumstances arise in anyone’s life when the person is unable to control his emotions and life has been quite cruel for them. The same happened with me, I was dealing with anxiety that even offering prayer was unable to make me satisfied and relaxed. I discussed these issues with my family and they advised me to go for Hajj as the next coming month was Zilhajj and days for Hajj were coming soon. I had a deep thought that night and decided to go for it as I was feeling depressed and needed some spiritual space in my life to recover my mental health and appreciate the beauty of Makkah and Madina.
My father contacted a company that was providing cheap hajj packages and registered our booking for next month that had 4-star services in it. The package was based on 20 days and it was a non-shifting one. I was excited and anxiously waiting for the day when we will reach Makkah and seek spiritual relaxation over there. I was getting restless and was not able to sleep as well because of my poor mental health due to extreme anxiety. I was having an extra feeling of excitement to go for Hajj.
We all went shopping and purchased the required stuff. Finally, it was the day when we had to reach the airport as flights were also included in our cheap Hajj package. We were all full of exhilaration and started the journey towards our destination. We arrived at Jeddah airport early in the morning as our flight was booked for the night. My feelings were full of nervousness, I was unable to analyze my mental situation because it was the time when I was going to get rid of my depressive thoughts and sorrows by being spiritually connected to Allah Almighty and performing Hajj for the first time in my life.
We were tired of traveling so decided to have some rest before we go for Hajj. My mother and I were hungry so we ordered some snacks for breakfast with tea and slept after eating. Then in the afternoon we woke up and got ready to go for Makkah. We were facilitated in the package so headed towards Makkah through the bus service provided by the company. I cannot explain my feelings when I saw Khana Kaaba just in front of my eyes. I was unable to walk towards it. At first glance, I was amazed and stared at the beauty of Khana Kaaba and Masjid Al-Haram. I was wholeheartedly crying and thanking Allah Almighty to accept me for performing Hajj and allowing me the opportunity.
I asked my family to leave me alone for some time as I wanted to pour my heart out and have a deep conversation with Allah Almighty. I was feeling so low for the past few months due to my continuous failures and some personal issues. I cried a lot and prayed to Allah Almighty for forgiveness. We stayed there for the whole day and I performed Tawaf as it is the mandatory step in Hajj. I asked my mother to stay there longer because after a long time I was feeling relaxed and tranquil. I was getting the vibes that Allah is answering my questions.
When I was a kid I learned about the supremacy of Hajj and I felt that sovereignty when I practically performed it. It was much more than I expected in my childhood. When you go there, it does not matter from where you came and what is your caste? Everyone is only Muslim and represents Islam as their religion. Muslims have to bow their heads before Allah Almighty. I was just having the deep feels of love and affection to Khana Kaaba as I was unable to even blink my eyes from it. I just forgot my family and was indulged in worship. It was rightly said by Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) that no one is superior and no one is inferior to anyone in Islam and all Muslims are equal that I felt there.
We offered the mandatory steps for Hajj and conducted the whole deed with a pure heart. A lot of our relatives asked us to pray for them as we were going to perform Hajj so I made a video call to my relatives to show them the beauty of Makkah and Madina Munawra as this is the most precious thing I could do for them. The cheap Hajj package made it possible for me to perform Hajj as I was extremely depressed because of my continuous failures in life. I felt fresh and satisfied after I prayed to Allah Almighty just in front of Khana Kaaba. I saw a lot of depressed souls like me, crying their hearts out to persuade Allah and to ask him to pardon them.
Days were passing speedily and we did not want to leave the Holy place but the package was about to end and we were unable to accept that. We considered 4-star facilities for the cheap family Hajj package and were satisfied with all the facilities and services added to it. We came back after 20 days. I was extremely satisfied with the services that I added positive feedback on their Facebook page and recommended other Muslim families based in the UK as well to avail their services for Hajj or Umrah. I was feeling relaxed after executing the deed of Hajj and my anxiety was recovered as well. My father purchased a gallon of Zamzam water to distribute among the Muslim communities around us in London where we live. I did some shopping as well and bought an abaya for me and my cousins who live in other countries. In the end, I must say that it was a wonderful experience for me to perform Hajj and pursue the opportunity